Travis Hafner hit a grand slam today. It was his fifth so far this year. Only 3 other players in the history of major league baseball have hit 5 grand slams in a season. We aren’t even at the All-Star break yet. This is amazing.

What’s even more amazing (and retarded) is that Travis Hafner won’t be playing in the upcoming All-Star Game. As a footnote to this post, I would like to include this letter to Ozzie Guillen:

Dear Ozzie Guillen,

As manager of the American League All-Stars, you got to pick some reserve players to stick on the roster. You could have picked Travis Hafner, but instead you went with a bunch of shitty guys from the White Sox.

YOU ARE FUCKING RETARDED.

Sincerely,
Joey